A Tale of Two Parades

It is December.  I have children.  Because I birthed them, I have an obligation to take them to Santa Clause parades and pretend to be happy about it.
This past weekend, I had the horrendous experience privilege of attending two different Santa Clause parades with a toddler and a six-year old.  Before I give you my profound insight, let me share a word about toddlers:

Toddlers do not listen.

Toddlers do not stay still.

Toddlers do not understand consequences.

Toddlers believe Santa will bring them presents no matter how they behave.

Toddlers cuteness is the most effective defence mechanism EVER!

So knowing all that, the logical thing is to take them outside after dark to a crowded street where candy is thrown at them.
 
Before the first parade, we spent the afternoon at a party, ensuring the children were full of candy and the toddler was terrified of Santa, and missed her afternoon nap.  When we arrived home, I was informed by the six year old that we were going to the Hanover parade. 

Note to pastors:  In the future, please don't announce your super fun parade plans while the kids are sitting in the service.  Apparently they hear it.  Apparently they don't forget it.  Apparently they think if you say it, it means we have to go.

I decided to do what I was told (and leave my husband in a quiet house so he could study), and we bundled up and went to the parade.

I strongly recommend just staying home, but if you must go to a parade with a toddler, below are some tips I learned.

1.  Make sure you arrive in town before the road to Tim Horton's is closed.
2.  Make sure you have something other than your toddler's hood to hold all the candy they will score.
3.  Stand with strangers, or your friends might find out you aren't the super mom you want them to think you are.
4.  Put a leash or your toddler. (I didn't.  What a fool I am).
5.  Remember that people who judge us for putting leashes on our toddlers probably don't have toddlers.
6.  Don't even try to take pictures.  Try to find the toddler instead.

But we survived.  The kids loved the parade.  I didn't see most of it.

But we decided to do one the next day anyways, with much more success. 

So, how do you have a successful parade with a toddler?

1.  Make sure it starts right beside your house, and runs directly in front of your porch.



The reason I only have one awful picture to share with you?  Toddler.

After the parade, we saw Santa and went roller-skating.  There was laughter.  There were tears.  And there was blissful silence after they finally went to sleep.