What I didn't know before I had preemies.

Both my girls were born early, earning me the unenviable title of preemie mom.  So in honour of Prematurity Awareness Month (everything has a month it seems), I thought I would share some of the things I have learnt since becoming a preemie mom.  Both girls were early due to a placental abruption.  Paige was born at 35 weeks, weighing 4lb, 2oz.  Elsie was born almost four years later at 31 weeks 4 days, weighing 3lb, 12 oz.  I am far from an expert, but here are just a few things I learnt from the birth of my daughter's.

1.  You don't have to be high risk to have a premature baby.
This first time I realised I might have an early baby was two days before Paige's birth, while waiting to be seen by the obstetrician.  There was no family history, no previous indicators there might be problems, so the thought never crossed my mind.  Being pregnant puts you at risk.  Sorry.

                                                               Me holding Paige when she's just a few days old.


2.  Being in a country that has universal health care is a huge blessing! 
Paige was in the hospital for 15 days, and Elsie was in for 48.  If we lived in another country we would quite possibly have had to spend our days in discussions with an insurance company to cover our $500,000+ hospital bill.  Thankfully, we never even saw a bill, and that was one (quite significant) thing we did not have to stress over.

3.  The learning curve for a preemie is astronomical.
Elsie did not know how to breathe when she was born (lungs are one of the last organs to develop during pregnancy).  She had to teach herself to breathe, to suck, to swallow.  She was tube fed for the first bit, so she then had to learn to take a bottle, and then finally learn to breastfeed.  My baby passed all those tests with flying colours!

4.  Premature is not the same as sick.
When people mentioned my baby being sick, I was offended.  Yes, they both had some sick days, but in general, they were just early, and needed to grow and figure out the suck/swallow/breathe reflex. 

5.  Your baby has two ages.
Actual age is from the date of birth, (used for scheduling birthday parties).  Corrected age is from your due date, and that is what is used when considering developmental milestones.  Trying to remember those dates with baby brain is much harder than it sounds.

Paige holding Elsie when she's just over 1 week old.

6.  Pregnant women are the cause of envy.
I have never reached the point I could not see my toes.  I have never passed my due date with no baby in hand.  I have never given birth in the hospital of my choice.  And I envy those women who have.  I know those last few weeks must be so uncomfortable, but I am jealous that I will never have that experience.

7.  Visiting a mom and her new, full term baby in the hospital is heartbreaking.
I had a niece and a nephew born just months after Elsie.  Forcing myself to go to the hospital to see them took so much willpower.  Seeing a mom there with a chubby, full-term baby, reminded me so much more of what I never have, and never will experience.

8.  Blessings are abundant.
I am blessed with a wonderfully supportive husband, friends, family, and church.  I was blessed to be seen by doctors who knew what to do, and when to do it.  I am blessed to now have two beautiful, healthy little girls, who don't seem to have any lasting consequences of their early arrival.

Having an early baby (twice) was the scariest experience of my life.  It was devastating, and heart-breaking, and I'm still processing almost two years later.  But when I listen to Paige learning to read, and see Elsie jumping on the couch, I am reminded of what a miracle they actually are, and how far they have both come.