Meet Bandit (quite aptly named it turns out). He started off cute and cuddly, and if he stepped on your foot the pain wouldn't last for days. We brought him home, and started off as good pet owners. We bought him the expensive dog food the breeder recommended, kept up to date on his shots, took him for walks (and carried him when his little legs just couldn't make it home), we bathed and brushed him regularly.
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| Bandit the day we brought him home. |
And then he gained 150 pounds (at least). We knew Newfoundland's were big dogs, but somehow that size seems bigger when you put it in a house in town. Now, if he steps on my foot, it hurts A LOT. Giving him a bath is quite the dramatic affair. Walks turn into runs followed by shoulder pain. And the expensive dog food? Yeah, that lasted maybe a month.
But with his size, came some surprises. Did you know that a 175 pound dog can reach the kitchen counter without trying? He just walks past and inhales whatever is there. And it doesn't matter if you try to train him. The temptation for human food is too much to resist!
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| Pregnancy photo shoot |
A piping hot whole chicken is fair game if your child suddenly needs a diaper change. Considerately, the dog will leave no evidence behind.
I cannot count how many loaves of bread have mysteriously disappeared. (He is very discerning and only steals homemade bread).
Peanut butter - forgot to put it away after making a sandwich? A dogs tongue is surprisingly long and he can clean the container out for you.
You know those delicious buns with the butter baked right onto the top? Bandit likes those too, but he prefers to lick the butter off before they are baked.
Trail mix - He doesn't like to eat it. He just wants to show how clever he is that he can open Tupperware and scatter the contents all over the floor for a nice welcome home gift.
Add to that list the extra housework he causes, the blankets he's ruined, the refinished floor he gnawed, a window he's broken, and the car he damaged by running in front of it (dog: bloody lip, car: $1500 damage), and logic screams "GET RID OF THAT FREAKIN' DOG"!
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| Paige with her best friend. |
But I don't, and I justify it by saying he is good with the kids, his size will intimidate people who want to break in, he does weird things that make us laugh, and he makes me feel safe when the husband is gone.
He drives me crazy and costs us a fortune. And yet, I know my threats to put him for sale on Kijiji are completely empty. The conclusion? It must be love. (But don't you dare call me his mommy!)
Oh, you're not his mommy. You're just the same kind of sucker as the rest of us. My dog. Free. Picked her up in the middle of the road. Special food because if you don't she gets gas so bad you'll leave your own home. Vet bills. Three knee surgeries. She's probably the most expensive animal I own and I have horses!
ReplyDeleteWhat can I say? I love her.
We are complete suckers aren't we? We don't get the cheapest food because if we do his hair falls out, and a bald newfoundland dog is a weird looking animal (plus he would be cold here in the winter)! That's crazy the dog costs more than horses! We'll do anything for love, huh?
DeleteOh, you're not his mommy. You're just the same kind of sucker as the rest of us. My dog. Free. Picked her up in the middle of the road. Special food because if you don't she gets gas so bad you'll leave your own home. Vet bills. Three knee surgeries. She's probably the most expensive animal I own and I have horses!
ReplyDeleteWhat can I say? I love her.
I remember that tiny, precious puppy...you didn't have a clue what you were really getting into!
ReplyDeleteI think perhaps he should be the star of his own series of children's books, or maybe a cartoon - he gives as much good material as those girls of yours do ;)
I thought we were getting a footstool that we had to feed. The next dog will not be so big!
DeleteHe would be a good star of books or cartoons, but I think perhaps the big dog thing is overdone? Maybe I could put cameras around the house and make millions doing a reality show.