I am living every woman's fantasy. My husband is a real-life hose-pulling, truck-driving, jaws-of-life-cutting Fireman. And yes. He is hot. And yes. I know you're jealous.
I am well aware that "Fireman" is sometimes considered sexist. But in this case, I am talking exclusively about male firefighters, because I don't know what it's like to be married to a female firefighter. So if the term "Fireman" (even though I'm talking about a man) offends you, you should probably stop reading now.
My husband is on a volunteer department, so that means he is on call 24/7, while holding a full-time job elsewhere. If the pager goes off, he drops what he's doing and runs (literally).
And now, because I am living every woman's fantasy (not a generalization, but a proven fact - obviously), I present to you the truth about Firemen. Prepare for all your fantasies to be crushed.
1. Firemen keep their jackets on and done up while they're on a call.
2. Firemen wear shirts while rescuing puppies.
3. Firemen also wear shirts while rescuing cats.
4. If you see a topless firefighter (who is not posing for a calendar), there is a strong chance he is not a real firefighter But he might still come to your house if you call and ask. But please note - your tax dollars do not cover this type of fireman.
5. Real firemen look like this. See how you can't see their abs, because they're appropriately clothed? I know, it's not nearly as attractive. But that handy dandy bunker gear is really helpful in not getting burnt.
6. Firemen use showers (in a bathroom) to clean themselves. Not a fire hydrant, or fire hose. So if you bought a house right by a fire hydrant hoping to catch a fireman showering, sorry. You're out of luck.
8. A volunteer firefighter can go from a dead sleep to dressed and out the door like he's an Olympian. I recommend having a path cleared from the bedroom to the door, all ready for his 3 am sprints.
9. Not all firemen have great bodies with rock-solid abs. Most of them are just average guys, with real man bodies (I haven't seen other firemen's bodies, but it seems like a safe assumption. If you want facts with sources, this is the absolute wrong blog for you to be reading).
10. Sometimes it's scary being married to a fireman. You don't know where they are, what kind of call they are responding to, or how much danger they are actually in. You just have to keep faith that they are trained, and know what they're doing.
So there you have it. Your fantasies are crushed. You're welcome.
And if you see a fireman, you should thank him. Or give him chocolate to give to his wife.
