Procrastinating like a pro

I have been working for my current employer for about three years, and I have finally signed up to take a course she has been wanting me to.  Thankfully she understands I have kids, and was kind enough not to push me.  But, thanks to some nudging from my husband, I decided to just do it and get it done.  So I am now signed up for the Canadian Securities Course (and no, I will not be a security guard after).  It consists of two text books, two exams, and a year to complete.  There is no class room, and no one to make sure I've done my homework.  Unfortunately for me, I am not great at self-starting (or finishing - ask my husband how many years ago I started knitting his sweater).  Really it's amazing anything ever gets started or finished in my life. 

But I did start (and have thankfully passed the first exam).

I signed up, got the books, looked at the chapter headings and freaked out.  Because honestly, with chapter headings like "Fixed Income Securities"; "Derivatives"; and "Segregated Funds", what other reaction is to be expected?  I work in a financial business, but we don't deal with half this stuff, and if it's irrelevant to my work, and incredibly boring, I'm not very motivated to learn it.  So I said to myself "suck it up Princess", and started reading. 

So here is my step-by-step guide to studying for unmotivated procrastinators like myself.

1.  Order Supplies (books, audio books, study notes, caffeine, chocolate, alcohol).
2.  Book your exam.
3.  Make a very detailed study calendar giving yourself four days to complete each chapter.
4.  Study hard the first three days so you get ahead of schedule.
5.  Celebrate your hard work by taking a week off.
6.  Re-do your study calendar, giving yourself three days for each remaining chapter.
7.  Study every day for a week.
8.  Get sick for four days.
9.  Re-do your study calendar, giving yourself two days for each remaining chapter.
10.  Study every day for 10 days.
11.  Attend an exam prep course.
12.  Do a mock exam.
13.  Assume you are about to fail.
14.  Write first exam.
15.  Find out you passed the exam.
16.  Realize, "hey that wasn't so bad.  I can do the second one no problem".
17.  Make the keen observation that you work best under pressure.
18.  Book exam for 2 1/2 months later
19.  Take two weeks off before you start studying.
20.  Repeat steps 3 to 6.
21.  Take a month off.
20.  Realize you have one month left before the exam.
21.  Make a wreath with your kid.
22.  Have a Walking Dead marathon.
23.  Join a writer's group.
24.  Start volunteering with your church again.
25.  Realize you are completely crazy, and should maybe re-schedule your exam.
26.  Realize that if you reschedule, you will just do the exact same ridiculous procrastination techniques as before.
27.  Think to yourself, "just do it!"
28.  Start studying tomorrow.